Optimism

I'm a fan of optimism, although I often think it's not a trait I possess in abundance. I'm more of a natural pessimist. Or maybe it's simply that I have a different flavor of optimism. I'm only optimistic if it can kick me in the pants. So, I'm pessimistic about my optimism.

Case in point: eating soup today.


With my unusual success in eating Murasaki sweet potatoes from an actual store, without interviewing the farmer who grew them, I was feeling good about food. Things were good. I could probably eat a lot of foods just fine from the store, as long as I made sure they were organic. I just hadn't tried in a while. I'm probably misremembering how bad it made me feel. It was likely something else entirely, or at least some of it.

...these thoughts never go anywhere good, but I can't seem to kill them off. They're like chicken pox, dormant until they pop out in a one-mantra line of shingles.

So, infected by my optimistic shingles, I made some mashed potatoes today, using rendered beef fat, boiled potatoes from my farmer, and salt. But it needed something. And there in my fridge was a little veggie soup I'd made for the kids but they have staunchly refused to eat.

It would be perfect with the potatoes. I made it, and it was exactly that: perfect. Tasted awesome, I was told, and it smelled good, and I hadn't made any food for myself, so I thought, 'why not?' It's the same veggies as I get from the farmer. It's organic. I did well with the sweet potatoes, why not with this, too?

So I had two spoonfuls of mashed potatoes - and my daughter was right, there were wonderful tasting. And as is usual for me, the fact that I don't instantly fall on the floor in agony the moment a food touches my tongue sometimes causes me to forget my 20 minute rule: it may take you up to 20 minutes to react, Shauna. You dolt.

Because that's how it goes. My first reaction to a food is ALWAYS within the first 20 minutes. I might have more reactions later, but never if the first 20 minutes are okay.

Three minutes after eating my potato spoonful, as I'm feeling happy and excited that I get to have some good tasting potatoes, the reaction hit. I'm sitting here now with the mother of all headaches, head swimming, ears and throat aching, and cursing myself. Because seriously, it was just a few veggies, that's it.

Even after nearly a year of avoiding sulfites, I still have a hard time believing that whatever trace contaminants exist in the coatings, sprays, and pest control agents on fruit and veggies can have such a huge affect. But oh dear Lord does it ever. No matter how much my inner child cries about it, or informs me that these are veggies I JUST ATE YESTERDAY. The ONLY difference is that my veggies yesterday have not had any pesticides, coatings, sprays, and so on used on them. That's it!

Sigh.

Now I remember why I just started eating all of my food from the farmer. Because while sometimes I get a success like the sweet potatoes, most often I don't. And if it's a failure, I've just really hosed myself for the rest of the day. Better to not take so many chances and enjoy my health and my kids, I think!